thank you for tuning in.

(Dancing at Bishop Duque's birthday party with Angelique Duque)
Sitting in my kitchen with CNN Spanish radio in the background, I reflect on my return home from Colombia and how I have thought about and have very much avoided writing this blog. Many friends, family and veterans of travel tried to warn me of the intensity of 'reverse culture shock' during re-entry. With this forewarning, somewhere between preparing to leave Colombia and arriving home, I came to the conclusion that because I was aware of the 'shock phase' I would be immune to it. The first two months, aside from the denial, I had a difficult time with most everything, unaware that I was smack dab in the middle of reverse culture shock, with no map, which greatly intensified the challenge of re-entry.

(Running down the hill attached at the hip with Angie and Lina)
My Colombian experience was incredible, full of emotions, generous, loving people and many moments that I am still processing and hold close to my heart, which makes it difficult as the days pass and my experiences/memories from Colombia feel more like distant dreams. Thoughts that once were completely in Spanish have made the transition back into English. I have grown accustom to things that were at first a surprise, or even seemed a bit ridiculous such as a full shower head of hot water with pressure, toasters, drive thru's, a heat source that came out of something larger than a blow dryer, bus stops- where buses actually stop, and a vacuum cleaner that doesn't smell like an electrical fire.

(My birthday celebration, Oscar, Abdon, Evita, myself, Dr. Santos, Bishop Duque, and Laura-Catherine)
As these differences become less obvious (less noted), I find myself reminiscing about the different stages of my journey. The first month or two while in Colombia, on the rare occasion I was on my own, without my host family, or someone from the office, I had such a myriad of feelings; the excitement and thrill of an adventure, and the panic of being a bit overwhelmed when surrounded by folks I hardly knew and barely understood. With frequency I questioned myself and God wondering if was there a breakthrough coming, some point where I would be able to have a conversation beyond what country I was from and why I was in Colombia? The hours I spent watching movies, rapidly scribbling vocab on scraps of paper, or intently studying flash cards and talking with people, with Maria Del Pilar, who challenged me to read an article then discuss it with her, were not futile. All of this helped tremendously as conversations gradually grew longer and more in depth.

(The first photo taken while in Colombia with Rodrigo, Myriam and Oscar)
My first few weeks in Colombia, my amazing brothers helped me through the language and cultural barriers, speaking to me in Spanish, then, just before my brain was on the verge of a massive vocabulary explosion, they would switch over to English. Anytime someone asked them questions about me, while I was standing right there, they would say, "she is my sister and you can ask her the questions because she speaks Spanish just fine." Tears well up as this seems like years ago, back to the time I was living day to day, so present with Myriam and Oscar as we all dealt with Oscar's brain surgery.

(Felipe and Padre Antonis)
With so much to process, it feels like I am sorting through reels and reels of film in order to create an award winning documentary. It is the creating that is most fun but also the most time consuming and challenging. It is titled See Beauty, Wherever You Go, it is absolutely fantastic, just flat out awe inspiring. There is laughter and joy. There are tears and aching hearts. The viewers get a taste of Colombia, the immense beauty and richness of the people, the grandeur of the country, and the quality of their life that makes them want more, makes them want to forget about all of the negative news, changing hearts and minds alike. Leaving the theater feeling inspired, just as I was.

(Stacy and I visiting Bryan in Seattle)
Clicking though hundreds of photos trying to decide which few to post is difficult. Seeing photos of those who went out of their way to show me their country, the food, cities, teaching me to dance and welcoming me with patience, wonder and hospitality. So many wonderful and generous people who opened up their hearts and graciously shared their world with a stranger leads me to wonder, how will I take all I have learned with me to where I am going next? This is a bittersweet transition, I miss Colombia, just the same, I am so happy to be home.

(Three boys watching adults talking in Cartagena)
I do know that wherever I am, whatever I am doing, I will always have these memories. I can open them up like a book, and remember. It won't be all at once, but for years to come I will have my memories of Colombia, and that is enough.

the goodbye

Getting off of the bus, feeling like a shaken can of soda, walking up the steep hill while dodging stray dogs and arriving at the quaint little church building, ringing the doorbell, hearing the children in the background rustling around, shouting excitedly wondering who is on the other side of the door felt surreal, as if I were walking around in what I had dreamed the situation would be like… The door to the mission is opened. Kate and I are hit by a wall of emotion and love, the children shriek with excitement, "Profe, Profe!" as a stampede rushes to greet us with open arms, hugs and kisses, "I've missed you," they say as they swing from my neck and squeeze at my waist. Excited, with a sly look in their eyes, they question, "Are we going to have English class today?... And after class and we learn lots of English, can we go play outside?" For them this is just another day of English class and playing in the streets, while for me, I try to keep from wearing my sad heart on my sleeve.



As Kate and I make our way upstairs for lunch I pray that it will not be chopped liver or Mondongo (cow stomach). Thankfully it was rice, pasta and an egg sunny side up. I introduce Kate to Padre Jose, his sister Clemencia and the children, explaining as much as I could about the mission/the routine hoping that she wasn't overwhelmed with all the information I was passing on. After lunch, I introduced Kate as my replacement, a few kids asked when I would be back, why and where I was going, why I wasn't staying, and if that would really be the last time I would see them, and they hounded Kate with another million questions. They were so excited to have Kate there, I could not have prayed for a better goodbye.

learning to expect the unexpected

(photo of a street in Quibdo)
I want to start this entry with giving thanks, giving thanks to God for this life, for these experiences and these wonderful gifts that arrive in the most unique and unexpected forms and to all my friends and family who have touched my life is so many incredible ways. And also to nature with all of its beauty and grandeur that never ceases to amaze.

I just returned from Quibdo, a trip I was so excited to take. I was anticipating spending time with a priest I thought to be incredible and have an experience that imagined would blow me out of the water. And it did, just not anywhere close to how I had imagined in my head it would play out.

(photo of a professor, Padre Edison, myself and a eager English student at the university)
I was trying to keep my attitude afloat and have as many positive thoughts about this trip as possible, although I was having difficulty transcending out of my funk. The first night was rough, sleeping under a mosquito net, in what felt like the most hot and humid place on the planet, which did not start me out on the right side of the bed the next morning. Then to be led around town presented to just about every person in the city as here to teach English, threw me off a bit.

My attitude began to even out as we began teaching English at the grade school, at the college, any friend of Edison's we met on the street, after the church service and with the soccer team. As the hours passed each day the more people we were meeting and the more welcomed I felt, everyone was so kind and I found sulking in my funk difficult. Staying with Edison and his wonderfully, delightful family, his wife with one of the lightest and most jovial spirits I have encountered, and his son and daughter, taught me more than I could have hoped.

(photo of meat and fruit in a store)
What really took me by surprise (blew me out of the water) was the encounter I had with personal boundaries in Quibdo, which are much different than those I grew up knowing. The personal boundaries I grew up knowing were basically classifying things, stuff, people, time and space with the concept of "yours and mine." Well, in Quibdo this isn’t quite the case, ‘personal space/boundaries’ aren't really understood in the same way I had understood them to be, the mentality isn't 'yours and mine' as much as it is ‘ours.'

The first time I experienced the boundary breaking I was a bit thrown off. Then I put myself to thinking about where this right, this sense of entitlement comes from? It seems to me that when we begin seeing things in this dimension of ‘mine and yours’ we become more defensive with our ‘possessions,’ slowly separating ourselves from one another and become exclusive with our sharing. If you have something good, why not share it, why not be excited to scatter joy and goodness, rather then hoard? Changing my state of mind has made a huge difference, realizing the more we divide ourselves into 'yours and mine,' the further we grow apart, the less we see this is ours, our place, our world to live, share and be together.

life in the bat cave and beyond

A pipe in the building broke so our water has been a bit temperamental the past few days. Last night we had absolutely no water, this morning from the sinks it came out as a bit of a trickle (we don’t get hot water in the sinks, there is only one knob and it’s the cold one), and the shower was a weak stream of scalding, scalding hot water. The way our shower works is if you turn the single knob on full blast you get very cold water but fantastic water pressure and if you barely, literally barely turn the knob you loose the pressure but you get warm water. Which is what I usually opt for, then end up running teeth chattering and all back to my warm bed. The pipes are in the process of being fixed, which works out to be perfect timing as we are leaving town for a few days...

Today my morning began a bit earlier than it does on a normal “work in the office” day. Laura-Catherine and I are heading to Quibdo, Chocó and of course there are all those last minute errands to run on the list, and hopefully I’ll be getting this blog posted with as few typos as possible.

I know very little information about Quibdo. When I visited Medellin back in October I attended Padre Edison’s ordination, Edison is the priest in Quibdo. I remember being a little intimated by this over 6 foot tall Spanish speaking man until he came up to me after his ordination. His kind voice and welcoming manner instantly put me at ease. He began practicing his English and helping another shy kid to practice his English with me also. It was just what I needed; I could throw in the bit of Spanish I was confident enough to use and was more than happy to help them with their English.

Padre Edison invited me to visit him in Quibdo that night. I felt a connection with him and was surprised that even though I was nervous and a little unsure of my Spanish that didn’t really matter, sometimes language has nothing to do with understanding nor communication. When I returned back to Bogota, I explained to Pilar that I wanted to visit the priest who was ordained in Medellin as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I already had other trips planned and my budget would not allow it and eventually this dream drifted to the back of my mind until…

Diocesan Convention in March we met up again! After spending the weekend with him and getting to know even more of this incredible person, this time I decided of everything I want to do before I leave Colombia, visiting Padre Edison is number one on the list. So it is finally happening today at noon we get on the flight to go visit a part of the country unlike any other. What I do know is the government of Colombia has very much neglected department (a department is similar to a state in the US) it is very impoverished and humid. I'll be back in 10 days. With love.

10 incredible months and two more to enjoy

I had the opportunity to attend the Episcopal Church’s General Convention in Anaheim, California a few weeks back. Since returning to Bogota I have been digesting my experiences during convention and in Colombia. After a few days away from Colombia I returned feeling revived and inspired, especially after having had the opportunity at General Convention to share with others what Colombia is like. So aside from learning a great deal about the Episcopal Church, what really struck my heart was an overwhelming emotion for the United States and Colombia. The interest people in the states took in wanting to learn and be open about Colombia, offered hope that the perception of this greatly misunderstood country is changing one person at a time.

While in California I was asked many of the same questions I was asked before I left for my mission last September. Is it safe? The church wouldn’t send you somewhere that dangerous would they? What about all of the drugs and the cocaine in Colombia? And the guerrillas? The FARC? Aren’t you afraid of getting kidnapped? Before setting out for my mission I wasn’t exactly certain how I should be answering all of these questions, so I tried my best to respond with the little information I had educated myself with through the internet and stories of other travelers, hoping this would help bring some peace to my friends and family.

This time around when it came to answering to these same questions I was able to answer with honesty and experience. I was able to share all of the knowledge about this country I had; how incredibly hospitable, loving and kind everyone is. How wonderful, diverse and rich in culture this country is. And when you arrive in Colombia you will feel like you are living in a different world, not because everyone speaks a foreign language or because the food tastes different, but rather because of how the people will make you feel, welcomed, loved and cared for, stranger or not.

paint.

A few of the latest additions to the apartment are a lamp, light coverings, a bathroom rug, a luxurious cushioned toilet seat, a violet plant and robins egg blue, a lighter version of Robin’s egg blue and mint green walls. One of these days I will capture the beauty of this recent transformation the apartment has been subjected to, it is definitely something to share with the whole wide world.

Painting was a task bigger than we had anticipated, not because painting was a new experience for us, or the walls were huge or there was tons of detail to fill in, but for reasons having to do with the end result of the colors we ended up with. The colors on the paint chips were nothing even remotely close to the colors that ended up on our walls.

Just so we are all on the same page, revamping the apartment is something that Laura-Catherine and I have been talking about for awhile and to finally have in all of the proper supplies ready to go, we were almost unstoppable. There were four of us painting, three rollers and a brush, we all started in different rooms hoping to be efficient, conquering the entire apartment all at once, which actually ended up creating more work rather then less.

The color I started with turned out to be a decent green, I was happy and just kept right on painting. It wasn't until I stepped out of my own little world for a minute to take a break that I saw the robin’s egg blue in the breakfast nook(adjacent to the living room), then I checked the hallway and was struck by the bright mint green. I didn’t even try and hide my disappointment, or dislike for the new 80's remodel. Fortunately for us, the two colors least aesthetically pleasing colors matched, and the decent green was the one that clashed. After discussing this "minor issue" we settled on painting over the decent green by adding white to the breakfast nook color and painting the living room with that. The decent green was salvaged for our bedrooms, it was a bit dark for the size of the rooms so we added some white to lighten it. It has started to grow on me and matches the sofa so it isn't all that bad.

taking time to remember to remember

My inspiration for blogging recently have been on the lower end on my motivation scale. Unhappy with this, not understanding why, and trying to type up something that made sense for a blog entry was extremely frustrating and got worse the more I tried to reason with myself, the more I tried to figure ‘it’ out, literally the more I tried to force it, the worse it became. Many hours were spent typing gibberish, deleting, retyping and reading other blogs in search of anything, any small seed of inspiration I could get to grow. My goal was to have something posted last week, but Friday came around and still not luck, still no blog.

Then came Saturday, a gift from God. I had the entire day to myself and it was just wonderful. My family called in the morning from the lake to wish me a happy 4th of July, I found comfort in the warm blankets of my bed, movies in English, drawing/sketching and making my own food. I did not leave the apartment nor did I talk with anyone aside from the necessary, polite saludos. The day was perfect for catching up on my thinking, relaxing and just being with myself and God. This day reaffirmed that I need to provide myself with days like these more than every so often.

Sunday Padre Alberto picked us up early for a day at his parish in Bosa (the outskirts of Bogota). Laura-Catherine and I stepped out of the taxi on to the unpaved road and into the church with the tarped walls, dirt floor and patched tin roof. At the end of each service we introduced and explained who we are as missionaries and people and what we will be doing to help with the mission. Before I go any further, a little about the mission we will be helping with in Bosa: it is called Operation Rescue, created to rescue the children from the streets and from the television while their parents work literally from sunrise to sunset, if not longer leaving the children home alone before and after school.

We spent Monday, the opening day at the mission, as well. I am left inspired and at a loss of words. These two priests, Alberto and Alejandro have had a dream of starting a church and a mission like this, for who knows how long and have dedicated their lives to achieving this. About 2 years ago they were able to start regular church services in Bosa, and various other locations around Bogota, 7 services, 2 priests. Another thing you should know is that it is rare that a priest gets paid enough to live on which usually leads to many part time priests and a full time something else, lawyer, professor, police officer, etc... Alejandro and Alberto live solely on the generosity of the parishioners, which in some areas of the city is hardly anything. So to live off of this, support a family and build a mission from the ground up is very difficult, and very incredible.

What moves and inspires me above all of this is the dream, the passion and the love they live. It reminded me that it is not always easy, in fact more often than not dreams are difficult to achieve, but living and believing in them, in others and in yourself is what makes dreams come true.

times they are a changin'

The apartment Laura-Catherine and I eat, sleep and shower in is in the garage of the cathedral/office building. Our office is an elevator ride away, the rock climbing gym is next door and the Sunday service is just up the stairs. The oven we use is just next door in the social hall. In our deluxe apartment we do have a cute little two burner stove, with an ‘oven’ attached to the bottom which is currently not functioning (you can see in the photo to the right). This actually works out to be manageable using the oven next door due to the fact that even if our oven did work, it is not quite large enough for my baking endeavors and there is not quite enough space for a 'real' oven in our little closet of a kitchen.

We recently traded in our over sized 10 person table for a nice little 4 seater and are in the process of finding a toilet seat that fits the commode. This past weekend we went to Home Center picked out two pleasant complimentary shades of sage green and a nice blue green accent for the stark white walls. Once the paint colors were mixed, we realized that some things in life should not be taken seriously, as we came back with a nice watered down mint green color, a festive bold/brighter green and 'blue/green' which turned out to be a bright green with a tint of blue. Smile, yes smile and think happy thoughts, wonder where they got the paint codes and hope the walls will look semi-decent.

On other updates in the world of Colombian mission: last week a parent of one of our children talked with Laura-Catherine about not wanting her children playing in the street due to the danger of the passing traffic. So when break time came around the next day we tried playing in the dead end just around the corner. The children were pretty upset and we received loads of complaints such as: the hill is steeper so the ball will run away, there is more of a danger of windows being hit by the soccer ball and the area is much smaller so playing options are limited.

Ok, brain storming time, we put on our thinking caps just as Padre Jose walked into the room and quickly discovered the empty hill of a lot next to the church is available for use. Perfect! He took us to the lot and we discussed long and short-term possibilities; beginning this Tuesday with the clean-up part of the project, getting rid of the grass, weeds and other hazardous articles. Then comes the digging, shoveling and hauling of dirt to level out the base of the hill to develop a soccer field and garden. Our hope original hope was for the children to help us with this project, in between the English classes which would get them out of the street, still be able to play while enjoying and inventing in the production of this dream. Well, one minor detail dampened our hopes: there 3 week summer break starts on Monday, BUT do not fear it wasn't completely snuffed, because after presenting the idea to the kids and trying to save our bleeding eardrums from their screams of joy they agreed to come help during their break!!

change and compassion.

My brother, Bryan, arrived in town Wednesday 5/11 and left early Thursday 5/14 morning; a quick and action packed trip. After Bryan had a chance to recover from the day of traveling and altitude change we headed to the climbing gym, explored the culture of the city by visiting the town center, markets, malls and museums. On Saturday we were able to get out of the city and hike around Suesca, just an hour outside of Bogota, (where I had my first real, outdoor rock climbing adventure a few months ago, incredible- once I got over my fear of heights). Bryan was so willing to try everything I ordered for him, and it was great fun sharing the Colombia I have grown to love, the food, the sights, my family and friends.

The director of the Young Adult Service Corps came for a visit to talk with the Bishop, Laura-Catherine and I about how we can move forward with the mission program with the Diocese of Colombia.. Of course, we are very excited to be a part of this process, paving the way for the future of missionaries in this beautiful country, with this incredible diocese. We are now working at the mission 3 days a week and are slowly finding other ways we are able to get involved in, there is so much potential it is just finding where we fit in.

One thing I love about the Diocese of Colombia is the importance they encourage for social outreach projects. The vast majority of parishes have a some sort of social outreach project that are involved in, for example Laura-Catherine and I help with the mission at Padre's Jose's church where they provide lunch to children and food and housing to elders who have no place to go. They also occasionally put families for a few nights who have been displaced by the war. Another church in Soacha, just about an hour outside of Bogota. With the help of Trinity Wall Street, has constructed a church and is now in the process of building a clinic above the church, to work with and attend to people with HIV/AIDS. The list of incredible people doing incredible work goes on and being involved and a part of the church here, seeing and experiencing first hand, people helping people, reaching out within a local community is something to be inspired by. I do realize this is something that is happening all over the world, not just in Colombia, as I have experienced with my local church in Spokane. What I am getting at is the joy, hope and deepen of faith it brings me to hear and witness this stories of compassionate humans.

the bus.

Riding the bus home from the mission has become a favorite activity of mine, aside from having to fight off nausea and the bus drivers who have the idea in their heads that they are actually driving a racecar instead of a 48-passenger bus; I enjoy the world and culture the bus cultivates. A wide variety of vendors ask the drivers permission to share the stories of their lives, sell candies and other sweet treats or the musicians who want to play a sweet melody.

Last week, I was dosing in and out of consciousness when I received a friendly tap on the shoulder from Laura-Catherine, (we both usually end up sitting one in front of another so we each can enjoy the window seat, which we are convinced is a remedy for our motion sickness), she motioned with her eyes to the harp player who had just lugged his extremely large instrument over the turn stile and into the crowded isle of the bus. The moment he began to play the normal hustle and bustle transformed into a calm and enjoyable atmosphere, as we all together, escaped our own thoughts and worlds for a few moments as we listened to the unexpected beauty the harpist gifted us with.

finding my balance

My mind and heart have recently been weighted down with thoughts and questions as my relationships with my Colombian friends deepen and the children begin opening up. I wonder about how far would I go, what would I do in their situation, especially with such limited options and/or resources. Would you lie to save your child’s life, or your spouse’s life? To what extremes would you go to keep your child out of the war with a 70% mortality rate? How would you react when you find out it is a well know fact that a child is being beaten? How far do you jump into life and relationships when you know you will be leaving? All the way, or do you hold back for the sake of someone else? Does that defeat the purpose of what we make life out to be? How would you deal with racism that has been deeply embedded in a culture for hundreds of years? What do you do when you know fear is the cause of injustices that occur? How much...

These questions I don’t have the answers to and maybe I don't want the answers and just thinking about them is enough. But I often go back and forth between what I would do in a similar situation or if there is something more I should be doing right now with my time here. I know realistically being here, loving and listening is sufficient but I want to do more. It is difficult and heart breaking to know that I want to do so much more; to completely give all of myself, all of my resources and energy but not knowing or seeing how to, not wanting to do more damage than good.

When I say not wanting to do more damage than good, it is because I have heard so many stories about do-gooders coming in from other cultures to try and ‘help’. Changing and helping, and hurting. Unfortunately, as wonderful and kind-hearted as we can be, we can also do a lot damage by coming in with ideas and money from our own cultures about what the standard of life should be and how to achieve that. (don't get me wrong I am not completely in disagreement with helping and aiding those who are less fortunate, we just need to be very careful in how we do this and how we use our good intentions). When we begin comparing our lives to the lives of others, coming in, trying to "fix/improve lives," when we begin thinking about what makes our lives comfortable and that others deserve this also. Each life is so unique, and life is relative to the person living it, the cultures in which it is lived, so that comparing becomes destructive.

the sun.

It is sunny today. It is so wonderful to see the sun after so many days of rain. Rain is wonderful and cleansing. I enjoy the cozy feeling it inspires, the repose that comes over me. Just as I love the sun, it lightens the soul and warms the spirit. It may just be my imagination but everyone seems a bit cheerier in the office today. I claim it is the sun, the surplus of vitamin D, you just cannot help but feel good.

just love, thats all for today.

Laura-Catherine and I were just about to head out to catch our bus Tuesday evening, after an exhausting day of playing with the kids at the mission, when a sudden downpour delayed our departure. Not thinking to grab our rain jackets before heading out that morning left us sitting in the office with Padre Jose to wait out the storm. My first thought was I am tired, I just want to start the 1 1/2-bus ride home, but two minutes into our conversation my inspiration picked up and I was ready to talk for hours about all of the possibilities and potential with the mission.

Padre Jose shared about the challenging lives of the children, the economic and social situation of the neighborhood and how much love and touch the children lack in their lives. When the children's parents arrive home after working all day, they are either too tired, to drunk or abusive to give these children the love they need. These children just want to be loved and held, to learn and to play. Watching them interact with one another and with us, seeing and feeling the family the after school program at the mission has created makes you realize how important family and friends are, and how important it is to love.

I spent the bus ride sorting through my surplus of thoughts and memories of my first visit to the mission back in September. Padre Jose came to pick me up to spend a day with him at the mission. The city whizzed by and I tried with difficulty to understand what he was explaining to me about the children I would be working with, the mission, the city and something about a very happy church service with singing.

After what felt like an eternity of creeping up the hill in the little twingo car we arrived at the mission; located pretty deep into the south of the city, on the steep Andean mountainside where the weather is harsher and the view of Bogota is spectacular. The buildings are crumbling and tightly packed in, potholes are the size of small ponds and any open terrain is littered with trash and stray dogs.

Meeting with the kids that afternoon blew me away. They asked questions about my family, hot water, what my life was like, if I arrived on a plane and when I would be coming back. I understood about every fifth word they said, and had to try and decipher the words I did understand between their giggling fits. We played soccer in the street and I fell in love.

Some days I don't feel as if I have the energy to teach, to try and come up with ideas that will help the kids to focus, fighting my own thoughts of how much the children should learn, how much progress they are making or if they are even getting what we are teaching, but the moment the door opens to the church and we are bombarded with open arms and smiles from the kids, all of these anxieties melt away. Just being there and loving these kids is enough.

storytime.

I’m not one much for details of events but I am very much a proponent of telling stories. This is my version of Trying to Get my Visa story. And it begins this summer, before embarking on my grand adventure to Colombia. I did the research and hunted down the necessary paperwork I needed in order to get a temporary religious visa. With this magic visa, I would be able to live and work as a missionary for one year, in Colombia with little or no hassle.

Well, unfortunately the paperwork did not arrive before my departure in September. So goodbyes were said to friends and family in Spokane, I took a deep breath as the plane prepared for take off and I tried slow my thoughts of the worst-case scenarios of what the Colombian customs and border patrol would be like without the visa but a return plane ticket for May. Thankfully going through customs was a breeze. One the other hand, trying get my visa during my first few weeks in Colombia was much more of a challenge, something similar to hiking a glacier while hauling a cart of rocks, no snow tires but 25 pound ankle weights strapped to each ankle (that may be a little dramatic). Pilar and I quickly discovered that I must leave the country in order to obtain the visa, and without the temporary religious visa, I must return to the DAS office every 60 days to pay a tax and get a stamp. After 6 months of this I must leave the country for a few days, return to Colombia to do this all over again.

Well, as fun as this was, I had the opportunity while in Ecuador with my mother to get my visa. I talked to of all my people, got all the necessary documents, applications and photos, and headed to the Colombian Consulate in Ecuador. After trying to decipher what the Ecuadorian lady at the front desk was saying in English (since she absolutely refused to speak Spanish) I discovered that because one of my documents said volunteer in place of missionary I could not get the missionary visa, or the volunteer visa.

I blocked the visa from my mind and enjoyed the rest our time in Ecuador. Once back in Bogota, came the task of figuring out what to do next; fly to Atlanta or return to Ecuador to get a visa, or just stay on my tourist visa. After many thoughts and prayers, I decided to head to Atlanta for attempt #3 of getting my visa. I decided on Atlanta because that is where Laura-Catherine was able to get hers in just a few hours with the same paperwork that I had attempted to get my visa with in Quito.

Cristina, the daughter of Myriam and Oscar, and her family warmly welcomed us to Atlanta. It was so wonderful to be able to meet and share time with family, so loving and kind. They dropped us off at the Colombian Consulate and after about an hour of waiting and stressing about all the ‘could-be’s and what-if’s,’ my number 31 was finally called. Once at the window the lady asked me how she could be of service, standing up straight, I confidently said, “I am here to get my visa.” Response, “oh a visa, you didn’t have to wait all this time, just head to that back office.” After the woman in the back office looked through my paperwork, asked me a few questions, mumbled a few uh huh's and da, ta, da's, ten minutes I walked out smiling with my visa in hand. Insert victory dance here.

THE END

the journey

Growing up comes with lots of questions, realizations, revelations and discovery. Growing up is life. It is living life and discovering yourself with in your own experience. At this time I am trying to find a balance between the realms of doing and being. I have days filled with passion and clarity while other days I feel confused and in search of patience. I wonder about what my mission is, why I am here, being aware that this is exactly where I need and want to be, but having struggling with seeing what the effect is while I am right in the middle of this all. Right in the middle of this experience that is my life. It will come; I am learning to have patience with all these questions, patience in knowing that I will live into the answers.

Laura-Catherine and I are on somewhat more of a consistent work schedule that is still pretty unpredictable. One long weekend a month we go to Cali to work the group of young adults that have started working on various social projects and are interested in continuing with service work within the Episcopal Church on a national and international level. One Saturday a month we teach English in the mornings to a wonderful group of members of the cathedral here in Bogota, following the English class, we participate in a philosophy and theology class for another few hours.

On Thursdays and Fridays public transportation helps us find our way into the south of the city and up to the a mission to teach English and mentor children from 6-13 who have no where to go once school lets out. They come to the church (the mission) for lunch and help with homework. Last week we had a blast teaching them the “three sharp toothed buzzards” song. A soccer break in the middle of class was a fantastic break, but apparently just because I am three times the size as these children goals do not count if you pick up them up in order to kick the ball into the goal. I suppose this means I will be doing soccer drills in the church parking lot. These kids are incredible, more thoughts about them will be coming soon, I am sure of it.

I am back! After spending the past eleven days in the coastal town of Cartagena, it feels quite nice to be back in Bogota, to be home. Pondering what to write has felt a little overwhelming as a rush of memories and insights flood my thoughts. I’ve decided to give a brief recap of what these past few weeks of my life have been like, although I suppose that is the point of this blog anyhow. This entry will be a touch bit longer, it is two in one- special of the day.

Having my mother come experience a part of Colombia, a part of my life here was amazing. To be able to show her around, explain the city, the culture, the people and have her know a part of my experience and have it become an experience that is now apart of her life was an amazing gift. Saying goodbye at the airport was surreal, the apartment felt empty without her presence.

Luckily I didn’t have too much time to dwell on her absence as two days after her departure, we jetted off to the beautifully picturesque and humid Cartagena, where were warmly welcomed by the parish priest and his family. They were incredibly helpful and generous especially with the fumigation of our room, feeding us broth and carrot juice while we were sick, and making plenty sure we knew where we were going.

After our first few days in Cartagena we met up with an incredible group of people from the Diocese of Connecticut (the companion diocese to Colombia). For the past 3 years they have brought a group down from their diocese making it possible to maintain a relationship with the churches in Colombia. We visited many of the parishes on the coast, helped host a radio show, met a group of ex-gang members trying to get their lives back on track, saw communitites of displaced families who have built their homes out of palates and tarps around the mounds of trash and mucky rivers.

It was inspiring to meet people who have such different and unique life stories; bringing on a fresh perspective to my thoughts on Colombia, on my life, on mission work and beyond. With this experience in Colombia, I have found myself many times at a loss of words, wanting badly to express my feelings and my experienced moments hoping you will get some small grasp on what life is like here. My difficulty of expression comes from the extremes I have seen, the extreme poverty and injustice but also the love, kindness and respect people have for friends, families and strangers. Trying to process it all and then articulate it. Big task.

I feel as if the second part to my mission has begun as work begins picking up pace. The first part was important to my understanding of this country, to understand and learn the patience of life and the importance of being with people just as much as the second will be. Now we are on the fast track after a visit to the doctor this afternoon we will be scheduling trips to different dioceses and parishes within and around Bogota while exploring the city with new friends. New photos are up check them out!

chicken dance

Connections, perceptions and observations, all the while hoping not to end up like this poor chicken feet up in a bucket. A compilation of our memorable moments in a nutshell...

The happy birthday song on repeat for the duration of a flight from Bogota to Quito by a man enjoying the complimentary whiskeys while gushing compliments and questioning someones marital status. Sharing his thoughts on how beautiful we are and how Audra was not a good name for Audra, saying the name didn't fit her beauty. At the end of the flight passengers offering reassurance and admiration of our patience.

Arrival in Quito. The unknown, would we be picked up? Where to now? Plan B? Nope we only had a plan A. Conclusion: hugs, laughter, smiles. 24 roses on a 24th birthday, food, food and more food. Hot springs, exploring muddy back roads, enjoying the expansive beauty of the Andean country side, an old friend turned into an adventurous guide taking us to places we never would have imagined. City lights, broccoli fields, markets of meat, fruits, nick knacks and cleansing of the spirits- literally. Food being kindly offered and 'no thank you' not being accepted immediately leading to... just a little, little bit. Of course, their perception of 'a little bit' is a hearty portion similar to a meal size. Wanting to share all they have, plus a little more food on top of that. We'll be back.

The other half of the nutshell. Hello humidity. Hello Panama. Our bones thawed and the down vest and fleece jacket quickly found their way to the bottom of our bags. Taxis, shopping (someone's least favorite activity), the famous canal triggering memories of people long past, and a historic district with it's very own Casa Blanca. A hostel bed with a midnight, bed slat dropping mind of it's own and muggy adventures on a bus to paradise to reunite with an old friend. Shy smiles from little ones, mothers holding their children close, timid glances at the two sweating gringas, a young college student afraid to speak English as a fearless mother blunders her way through spanglish, exchanging emails and the wheels on the bus go round and round...

Paradise found in the form of Achotines... hermit crabs moving like leaves blowing in the wind. The ocean sounds and smells, early morning hikes and monkey watching, horses, exploring 'the ranch', orchards and knee tiles. Snorkling, puka shells and private beaches, feeding (not eating) yellow fin tuna, sundowners in the cabana, fresh banana ice cream, sunrise hikes and one last snorkel.

Goodbye paradise and back to the city, back to Bogota. As we touch down, out come the fleece and vest once again. A daughter that sighs happily and says this feels like home. What more could we want? Oh wait, after all that food, of course, the time must be found to head to the climbing gym. There she goes like a spider scuttling up those walls. Me, I settled back with a still full stomach and a book of Sudoku!

la pollita and her mother.
new photos have been posted: http://picasaweb.google.com/home

from a mother with love...

I am sure that you would rather hear from Audra, mi hija, yet thought it might be fun to offer reflections of her during her time away.
After arriving in Bogota last Thursday night, it was fun to meet Laura Catherine and check out their apartment. I may be busy after we return to Bogota. It is wonderful that they have a safe place to stay - certainly helps from a mother´s point of view. As you know Audra is an amazing person who tends to develop relationships and cultivate love and respect where ever she goes. We stop and speak with the guards and all of the people working in the office. All conversations are antimated, with lots of expressions. It is a gift to be here and to listen to her. My limited spanish, with comprehension beyond my ability is a challenge, yet the positive, caring attitudes are unmistakable. There is love, laughter and joy all around.
Oscar and Myriam joined the rest of the office for a birthday celebration with cake and wine in the office Friday. It felt right at home and could have been Bishop Waggoner laughing and taking photos. Salud. We dispersed the gifts sent by Bishop Waggoner and of course cookies from home. Audra made sure that EVERYONE received something.
I do need to say that they will probably roll me off the plane when I return home. It feels as if we are eating all of the time, such good food although my lack of exercise will show. It is good that Audra heads to the climbing gym which is right around the corner. No clue what I will do!
Returning to visit Quito and Audra's former host family has been incredible. As they have challenged my spanish, providing opportunities to speak and Audra´s as well. The biggest challenge seems to be the merging of the two languages, I completely understand how Spanglish came into being. Our visit to the Colombian Consulate was discouraging yet, perhaps a gift as well. They did not like the word ´'volunteer' and denied her attempt for a visa. We will see where this goes. Tomorrow we head out to Panama and a visit with my friend from high school. You don´t want to know how long that has been...please!
What a gift to be with loving friends who have opened their hearts and homes to Audra. As we continue on our adventure we will post photos and perhaps offer a mother-daughter reflection of a land that is beautiful beyond words, and people who have so much to offer us and all of creation.
Chow...

Golden Birthday

These past two weeks are now finally catching up with me as I feel the rush excitement melt into exhaustion. Since Laura-Catherine arrived we have been all over the city, running errands, exploring, dancing, climbing and shopping. The down time we do have is usually spent prepping meals, washing dishes or finding a solution to a unique ‘apartment situation’ that has arisen. Today we had another early morning and now at 3 p.m., as I try to put these thoughts of mine into words, I find myself daydreaming/sleeping about my bed loaded with a think warm layer of blankets. Thankfully, my squeaky and somewhat wobbly office chair keeps me from drifting too far away.

Having a partner in crime (Laura-Catherine) to share this experience with has been wonderful. We have a lot in common, and we are really getting into the dramatic Spanish soap operas. Luckily, we enjoy a lot of the same foods, which makes shopping a breeze, most of the time. We can get a little carried away at the supermarket with wide selection of exotic foods, well actually it doesn’t matter if they are exotic foods, just food in general. We both love to cook.

About once a week I visit with Myriam and Oscar for Spanish classes, which mostly turn into conversations and story telling. I am surprised with how quickly the time passes, mostly being surprised by the fact that we are conversing with such ease in Spanish. I can now get through quite a bit of the conversation without having to stop and question a word and it feels so, so great. Now, I just need to work on a few things that get lost in translation, like my ‘sense of humor’.

Quick introduction for those of you who have not had the divine pleasure of meeting the wonderful and lovely Evita Krislock, she is my mother. Now that formal introductions are out of the way, I can share with you that in one day she will be arriving here, where I am, just a few degrees above the equator, in the majestic mountain setting of Bogota… Saturday we will zip off to visit friends in Ecuador, then on to sunny and scorpion filled Panama and only to return a week and a few days later to the beautiful Bogota. What an incredible birthday present, and I didn't even have to blow out any candles for this wish to come true. I'll see if I can get her to write a blog entry for a different perspective on a Colombian experience...

la vida nueva

My brain is exhausted. I am exhausted. The speed of life has gone from a nice comfortable cruise of 20 mph to rapid 75 mph. Myriam, Oscar and I celebrated Christmas in Subachoque, returned to wash some clothes before we again left the city to Villa de Leyva where we spent a week over New Years. From there it was straight back to work where I began a grant for United Thank Offering, started packing up my room, and preparing the office and apartment for Laura-Catherine’s arrival. And since Laura-Catherine safely arrived Wednesday night, we have spoken about 10 minutes of English and about a million and one hours of Spanish as we run all over the city finding things to transform the apartment into a livable space. Monday, another national holiday, we finally had time to sit and relax for a few hours.

We have moved into the basement apartment of the church, our home. It is wonderful, a little cool temperature-wise but we’ve found that fresh hot chocolate helps take out the chill. Our thighs are growing strong due to the lack of a toilet seat, the cold showers help wake us up in the mornings and preparing our own meals with fresh fruits and vegetables is a definite plus.

I am discovering the deeper I travel into this experience, the more I fall in love with Bogota, Colombia. I am thankful for my experience these past 4 months, all that I have learned; the time I have had to become comfortable with the language, the people, and myself in another culture. Now that Laura-Catherine is here it is nice to have someone to share this experience with and it is transforming into a completely different adventure- nothing short of amazing. It is a mystery why and how some things work out they way they do. There are times where you are able to prepare yourself, prepare yourself for moments, for what will come next, for life, while others need to be spent embracing the mystery, trusting ambiguity, it is all just as rich.