Tap, tap, tap. What is that sound? Knock, knock, knock. I lift my sleepy head to see Jinx frozen, peering over the edge of the loft. Tap, tap, tap. Okay, okay I’m coming. After stumbling down the ladder, I make it to the front door. Jinx leaps to the fridge, fixated on something outside. Strange, I do not see anyone at the door. Knock, knock, knock. Looking toward the noise, I see the culprit; a raven pecking at the frozen fish on my doorstep! I chuckle. Oh well, at least I am up early, thanks Mr. Raven.
All the things I hope to achieve today begin surfacing. I debate hiding under my blanket on the couch for a little nap, when my eyes shift to the sky. Wow! I grab my camera, bundle up and head to the river’s edge. The colors and texture of the sunrise were stunning and standing there in the chilly morning, with the sounds of nature took my breath away.
Walking back to my cabin, I thought about how much I love this. I love living in my cabin, on the raging Kasilof River. Working at the café, and meeting new people has been a blast. I’ve uncomplicated my mind a bit and stopped stressing about useless things. I am learning how to not dwell on my mistakes and be so quick forget my successes. I quit setting high and unrealistic standards for myself based on what I observed other people doing.
I love that I did not know that spruce trees, as cute and spindly as they are do not make great Christmas trees. Or that one day it is 20 below and the thought of walking outside without my parka, gloves, and boots to pre-start my car burns my skin. Then just days later snow is pouring over my boot tops, and I am sweating from shoveling two feet of snow to make way to my car because it is Christmas and I have places to be.
I love how proud I was that I did not fall on the glare ice that sits between where I park my car and my cabin door because it’s been raining for almost two weeks, and rain freezes when it falls on snow and makes ice. And then today it snowed covering up the ice and I did fall, three times, flat on my back.
I miss my family and friends, doing ski patrol on Wednesday’s, baby sitting and driving around Spokane in the '72 super beetle. I wish I could share with everyone how cute my cat is when she plays fetch or jumps to my shoulder to hang out. Or if I say, "hey dude! what’s goin' on?" she replies with a meow.
I wish I could bring you all into these incredible moments I experience. But that is how life is, I suppose. We each experience life, sometimes with ones we care about and sometimes we just have to suck it up, experience them and try to find ways of sharing.