novices welcome

This morning I woke up entirely aware in of every muscle in my body from the neck down. My day carried on with no real excitement. I had just finished studying when I heard the thunder crack! I could not see the rain falling outside since there are no great windows in my studio. So, I fixed my gaze on the skylight to watch the raindrops collect and roll down the window, feeling the dreariness. Barely able to stand up, I forfeited any hope I had to take a ride on the trail. No way did I think I was capable of getting my leg over the center bike bar, and riding in the rain didn’t sound all that thrilling anyway.  

After doing a few chores I decided I’d had enough of being a downer and bundled up in my rain gear and got on the bike. Aside from dodging a slug here and there, biking was literally the breath of fresh air I needed to walk out on my pity party.  Biking in the rain felt exhilarating. Maybe it was the freedom from my own mind or the warm fall air.  

I am still flying between the trapeze bars of transition. I am settled in nicely. Wednesday I saw a flyer for the college rowing team (novices welcome) so I joined (hence the sore muscles) and I have been applying for jobs, studying and learning, but that space in between the letting go of one trapeze bar to catch another is hit hard today. Dwelling in it did absolutely no good, so I decided to force my leg over the bike bar and pedal. To my surprise it was easier than I imagined.

That’s how most things seem to be going here, building things up in my mind to be bigger than they really are. When I actually do whatever it is, it is not nearly as “big or bad” as I imagine it to be. Remembering to remember this is what I’ll be working on this week! 

audra's pep talk to audra

I suppose I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with so many new things. These feelings take me back to the beginning of each move I have made over the past 10 years. College, Ecuador, Colombia, Alaska, Victoria and all of the places I bounced around in between. Then, I think of all the wonderful people I met and how much I've fallen in love with each place. I know I will do okay, it is keeping the nervous, insecure and wondering what I am doing here feelings at bay. On the other-hand, I am excited for the challenge and the possibilities. I am a grown woman AND I know I can do this. I don't need to resort to those old feelings. I am going to shift brain gears and try a different approach. Not one of fear but one of excitement and curiosity. In the meantime, I am going to try to NOT give into the temptation to buy every gluten free product I see. So, raise your glasses up and let's have a cheers to running straight into the unknown!

moving onward...

Here I am smack dab in the middle of another transition.  I took a flying leap from Alaska to Victoria, BC. Although, I landed on my feet in Victoria, my stomach feels like I am still flying through the air somewhere in between Victoria and Kasilof. 

Leaving Alaska happened in a blur. My parents came up for my last week, and helped me pack instead of panic. I get quite sentimental leaving a place that it can make it a little difficult to move on to the next location. I’ve done it enough, one would think it gets easier, but it doesn’t. Just writing about Alaska is pulling on the strings of nostalgia.

Deep breath. On to Victoria, BC. Why am I here? Good question. I am taking a step forward, in a direction.  Which direction? That is what I am here for. I figure any direction is better than being stagnant even though it was a difficult decision to leave my “dream life" in Alaska. Back to direction, I am taking pre requisites for Physiotherapy. I am trying to find a line of work that suits my interest in the human body and pays a little more than minimum wage.

I don’t have a river running through my front yard, the neighborhood moose to contend with, or a beach filled with agates waiting for me to find them as the sun sets. However, I do have designated bike lanes, free run eggs and chop shops, fruit flies and tons of locally grown organic food options. Only having been here for a week, I can already tell I will like it. Why just today I rode downtown and had to make more than a few stops to gorge on the blackberry lined bike trail.

Who knows what this adventure will bring, if I don’t succeed in what I’d hoped to do, it won’t be a failed endeavor. I will still be moving forward and onto the next direction. And more than anything I like learning and I’ll be doing that no matter what!