My mind and heart have recently been weighted down with thoughts and questions as my relationships with my Colombian friends deepen and the children begin opening up. I wonder about how far would I go, what would I do in their situation, especially with such limited options and/or resources. Would you lie to save your child’s life, or your spouse’s life? To what extremes would you go to keep your child out of the war with a 70% mortality rate? How would you react when you find out it is a well know fact that a child is being beaten? How far do you jump into life and relationships when you know you will be leaving? All the way, or do you hold back for the sake of someone else? Does that defeat the purpose of what we make life out to be? How would you deal with racism that has been deeply embedded in a culture for hundreds of years? What do you do when you know fear is the cause of injustices that occur? How much...These questions I don’t have the answers to and maybe I don't want the answers and just thinking about them is enough. But I often go back and forth between what I would do in a similar situation or if there is something more I should be doing right now with my time here. I know realistically being here, loving and listening is sufficient but I want to do more. It is difficult and heart breaking to know that I want to do so much more; to completely give all of myself, all of my resources and energy but not knowing or seeing how to, not wanting to do more damage than good.
When I say not wanting to do more damage than good, it is because I have heard so many stories about do-gooders coming in from other cultures to try and ‘help’. Changing and helping, and hurting. Unfortunately, as wonderful and kind-hearted as we can be, we can also do a lot damage by coming in with ideas and money from our own cultures about what the standard of life should be and how to achieve that. (don't get me wrong I am not completely in disagreement with helping and aiding those who are less fortunate, we just need to be very careful in how we do this and how we use our good intentions). When we begin comparing our lives to the lives of others, coming in, trying to "fix/improve lives," when we begin thinking about what makes our lives comfortable and that others deserve this also. Each life is so unique, and life is relative to the person living it, the cultures in which it is lived, so that comparing becomes destructive.
3 comments:
Amen and asante, Audra.
It has taken me all these years to learn those things and I am still learning. Each time something happens it is unique and needs to be handled different. For me I have had to face the varmint so many times but the release of fear helps us to grow if we allow it. The other thing is that the Sweet small voice of the holy ghost will whisper to us when we need it. But we have to be willing to act on those promptings. Much love and prayers as you grow and learn. Aunt Sue
Your line "we just need to be very careful in how we do this and how we use our good intentions" is something I think about all the time. It's hard, especially when you work in a context where so many white people have come before you and created this idea that white people exist just to give stuff.
-Jesse
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