Wednesday, October 29, 2008

trust ambiguity.

After my grand adventure in Medellin work seems especially slow. Work is slow in part because the Bishop, and the Secretary, Pilar, are both out of town for a week which leaves not much to do in the office. To pass the time I've begun exploring the world of Spanish music via the internet and finding whatever I can that explains the different verb tenses in Spanish. As I was trying to figure out some Colombian localismos a member of the congregation came into the office and offered to help me with my grammar. Yay, I will begin spanish lessons soon!

I talked with Pilar about what they had intended for me to do here and why things were moving so slow. She said the idea was for me to work with the mission that I visited in the south a few weeks back, helping with the kids in the after school program. She also explained that the Bishop is the one with the idea of what I will be doing but with a combination of him traveling so often, trying organize everything with the priest of the mission, making sure I know the city well enough to get there safely on my own, and just being the typical way the office runs, things are just slow to happen. Ok.

I've been following my fellow missionaries blogs and have made a few other non-colombian friends who are doing some incredible things. Hearing about the projects they are or have been involved with fills me with ambition, inspiration and a little bit of envy. It has also really made me think about what my 'mission' here in Bogota is. Up to this point I feel like everyone else is giving/serving while I am trying to graciously recieve in every way I know how to but I do not feel like I am giving/serving. So what I am I doing here? I know it is something, which sounds obviously, obvious.. Maybe the more you try and figure something out the further away it slides so a good idea would be to trust more in ambiguity, have faith, just be, and live conciously.. Oh I don't know really, but when it comes to the end of the day, I am thankful and happy to be right where I am. It is not always easy but this is exactly where I want to be: feeling safe and loved.

5 comments:

melanie. said...

audra, hi. there's a great book called 501 spanish verbs that is excellent if you already have a grasp of the language. it's really just all of the verb conjugations and some explanations about how to use them. i speak fluently and still pull it out to check myself!

and don't feel envious. just being is often what these churches need to see you doing. sacrificing your year to spend it with them is just as important as starting ministries, teaching, etc...

blessings.

melanie -- yasc '04-05

Dianna Woolley said...

I agree with Melanie - the "being" and the person that you are gives a great deal to the persons with whom you meet.

The verbs - yikes! - I've been studying Spanish for years and still am a grade schooler. I am envious of your immersion in the language:) I know you'll make the most of it!

Chris 'n Leah said...

Hang in there! I am sure that although things are moving slowly things will pick up for you. And when your year is over you will be able to see all of the good you were able to accomplish. Through yourself into the work and it will all work out. I am proud of you!

Anonymous said...

Hey Audra:

What a great adventure you are having in Columbia. It is wonderful that the people are embracing you (no surprise there) the way that they are! You will impact them by just being with them and showing how much you care about them. And, as time goes on we know that things will pick up and you will figure out how best to help the people. We think about you often. Take care.

Steve and Mary

Mike said...

Hi Friend,

It seems we all spend time trying to figure out if what we are doing is what we are supposed to be doing. It sounds like you are living in the community and sharing your life, that's about all anyone could ask. Keep it up.

Mike

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